Shut Up.

Here's the thing. Without trying to make myself sound awesome, the truth is, over all I'm a pretty good leader. I can organise people, cast vision, care about them, do the things good leaders do. Where I totally fall apart is my mouth. My mouth is my greatest weakness, and my greatest strength.
It's so easy for me to be critical, that's why it's easy for me to pick on people and bully them. I can really easily, with out meaning to, become a gigantic jerk, and I don't really realise it until it's too far. Then I try to do some mediocre apology and fail to really change or I make excuses and blame the other person or people for whatever clever reason I can come up with.

That needs to stop.

If I want to be a great leader, I need to just seriously shut up.
If it's possible something can go badly, just remind myself to shut up - particularly when it comes to sports or other competitive natured things.
I need to shut up with the jokes. Often they are so to the truth it's cutting.
My wife said that I need to threaten people with ridiculous things, like "I'll rip off your arms and shove them in your nose." And when making fun of something, as an old leader used to say - " Make fun of them with something positive, like 'gah... Why are you so strong " and things like that.

Words can build your ministry or destroy it. The Bible has a lot of strong things that it states about the tongue. As leaders we best be mindful of it.

Part of my problem as a leader was I never really had this modeled for me growing up.  The vast majority of sorts I played were solo, like swimming and track and field, so my success was not really built on team work. The only team sports I player were baseball and soccer when I was really little.
Any time I heard people commenting on a team was the Maple Leafs, and how badly they were doing and what they should have done.
Ultimately, what I need are some people whom I respect in my life, who, when I'm saying stupid things, to stop me, or call me on it right afterwards in a loving way.
This is probably the biggest character thing I need to deal with, and I need to deal with it now, not later. Otherwise, I may leave a wake of destruction and not hope and encouragement.
This is obviously the first step: learning and recognising the weakness.

Maybe you need to work on this, too? What steps are you taking? And if you have 'dealt' with it, what did it take for you too so?

Meeting You Right There

I was in Grade 6 and our school was doing the play “Cinderella.” The casting call was announced, and I wanted to play Gus, the mouse. Gus had very few lines, and even fewer singing parts, so I thought that was the part for me. I got so excited and told my whole family what I was going to do! I thought about how Gus sounded, how he acted, and I looked at my lines. I studied all the lines I needed to know the night before the auditions. The next day all the excitement was boiling up. I got called in to the room. I didn’t know my lines. I didn’t really know the part well; ultimately I did not get the part, and I was heartbroken.

Have you ever felt like you failed? Have you ever felt like you just don’t quite measure up?  Have you ever felt like more was being asked of you than you could give or maybe it’s that you promised more than you could deliver on? We’ve all been there, having that twisted gut, back-of the-skull numbing feeling of hopelessness, guilt, and/or shame…

One easy example to look at is Peter. Having failed Jesus and not living up to his words of commitment, he was pretty devastated. The shame of his failure followed him the whole time Jesus was with him after the resurrection. One day at the side of the lake, Jesus talks to Peter and says, “Do you love me?” (John 21:15-19). Before I go further, this is more than about being reinstated in ministry. Yes, you can take this away from this part of Peter’s story, but Jesus is more accurately getting at Peter’s heart and giving him a vision and a hope for the future. When Jesus said, “Do you love me,” the first two times, he asked, “Do you Agape me?” Or, do you unconditionally love me? Peter responded with, “Yes, Lord, you know that I phileo you.” Saying, “Lord, you know I love you like a friend.” And then on the third time, Jesus changes it to match Peter’s words saying, “Do you phileo me?” And Peter was grieved by this, because he understood that the level Jesus was calling him to was lowered. Peter responded with, “You know all things, you know I phileo you.”

I think, more often than not, when we realize that Christ is meeting us where we are at, we become broken, and maybe even grieved, because it humbles us. His standard is one thing, but His grace? We have a harder time reconciling that.

You see, God knows you’re not “okay,” but it’s not okay to stay that way.
Take a moment and reflect on this, too: Even though Peter didn’t love Jesus the way that he should, Jesus still called him to do Christ’s work with the Church. You can serve Christ even if you’re not “there” yet. Maybe you’re not feeling there, yet. The Holy Spirit will work inside of you – He’ll help you get there.

Peter’s heart was revealed to himself by Jesus. Peter saw that he didn’t love Jesus the way that Jesus wanted him to. But Jesus didn’t just leave it there. Jesus gave Peter hope. Jesus gave Peter a vision for the future. That one day, life would suck. It would be horrible. That he would be going where he didn’t want to go (a familiar sentiment from when he denied Christ). However, in the end, Peter would love Jesus, his Saviour, in that unconditional, agape way. He wouldn’t get it right at first, but he would finish well. Church history teaches us that Peter died being crucified upside down, because he didn’t think himself worthy enough to hang like Christ did.

In the end, though, I think Peter “got it”. Peter loved Christ to the standard he was called to.

God will meet you where you are at, and if you let Him, He’ll take you on the journey to where He wants you to be.

This post was originally posted on EveryDayFaith of the PAOC.

Leadership

There are good leaders and there are bad ones.
Some leaders are just jerks, some are super nice. The nice ones can be ineffective. The jerks can get so much done... But they are still jerks.
       I can definitely fall in to the jerk category. "Nice", I don't think is the first word anyone has used to describe me.

The kind of leader I want to become, I think, is balanced.
Firstly, most easily summed up, I want to be like Jesus. Sounds super spiritual, but that isn't my goal. I just want to emulate their him in these few ways:

1. Biblical. The guy knew his Bible. He wrote it, yes, but he had to learn it while on earth.

2. Visionary. Jesus often set the vision by saying what the church is, what I it's supposed to be like. He called people to something far greater than themselves.

3. Compassionate. He came because he loved us, and died to prove it. He rose so we could live it. My problem is, as others have noted, it's not that I don't care about people, its just that because I'm task oriented I don't pay attention to them. I need to learn to stop what I'm doing to help and care for others.

4. I want to remember what it was like as a youth pastor and not take my future staff for granted... Days off, work week hours, paperwork... Etc.

For now, I the think just those few things would be largely beneficial.

Good or Bad: Leadership

As a leader you have to ask yourself what kind of legacy you want to leave.

Do you want to leave lives changed to the glory of God, or for your name and the joy of your success?
Do you want to leave with money in the bank, or $11 million of debt in the bank?
Do you want to stay true to Jesus or let the culture sway you?
Do you want to be forgotten because you developed a solid team, or remembered for the good 'ol days when you were around?

You see, there are two kinds of leaders. One makes mistakes, the other lives mistakes. One propels people, the other drags them. One will just be honest from their pulpit, and the other will exaggerate, inflate or just straight up lie.

I know people who look to this one church from Pensacola, Florida, as if it was the greatest thing that ever happened. In sure God moved there, but it's obvious God moved on. If success if built upon a person other than the person of Jesus, then that success will be temporal and all about that leader. The leader moves, the movement dies, and it all falls apart.
Jesus died, and the church still is here.
Good leaders are never talked about for the good ol days, because today is a good ol day and they maximise that opportunity.  What days are you talking about? What days are people talking about in the wake of your leadership?
Those answers will help define if you're simply a good leader or a bad one - or if you're following a good or bad one.

Don't waste time following guys who have good ol days. You have tomorrow to live towards.

Ministry & Contributions

You complain that the church isn't going forward, but if anyone criticises your ministry, then they must hate your ministry or be against you personally.
What if your critic is actually for the church? What if they care more about what Christ had called the church to than your ministry?
It may me wise to filter your ministry through these standards: 

I'll get the hardest and obviously most controversial one out of the way first:
1. Is your ministry a financial drain or contributor to the church?
Let's remember something that takes the emotion out of this topic. Sunday mornings provide the cash you need to operate your ministry. You may have 100 people coming to your ministry, but if there is no transition from it to the Sunday service, and those people are just attending your ministry, then you officially have a drain (that is unless they donate directly to your ministry). What I'm not taking about are food kitchens or homeless shelters. I'm taking about your average mid week youth and children's ministries. Are they building up the church or are they draining it? Great, you have 100 students - maybe 50 different families on a conservative level- how many have connected to your church? How many of them have even attended just one service in the last year?
Unless you have some legitimate reason why there is no contribution, at the very least, don't ask for a budget raise. Maybe you need to re-evaluate your ministry and if it is really serving the church or just your ego.
If you say it's not about the money, then humbly ask your church leadership to by pass giving you any funds for your ministry. Your church needs money to operate, and operate your ministry.

2. How is your ministry contributing physically to the church? .
Are you making only messes and never cleaning after yourself?
Do you have so much stuff it's hard to make the church look neat and tidy?
Do you have redundant spaces... A prize cart and a prize room. 3 storage areas that are the biggest areas? Are you adding to the church or adding to your ministry?
The reality is, if your stuff doesn't ultimately help the church, it's ultimately about you and not Jesus. You can totally have things unique to your ministry, but does it hurt the over all church? Vines hanging from the ceiling with power chords in the second largest room in the church is a great example. You know, where other kids ministries, church breakfasts and lunches happen.
Keep it mobile, keep it small, and clean. If the lights have to be off for it to look 'OK', then your set up is probably not as quality as you think it is.

3. How is your ministry contributing to the church emotionally?
Do you drain your leaders? Do you expect more of your volunteers than is reasonable? Do you build them up or tear them down? What about behind their backs? How do you talk about their families? Again, what about behind their back? Do they feel as though you respect them or use them? Really?
You see, the way you talk about your volunteers and their families will always get back to them. They will stop helping if they feel abused, neglected, over worked, under worked, or betrayed.
Did you know how you talk about or to your own family will affect them, too?  If your a woman who always publicly talks down to your husband... If I was smart, I would never let you near a microphone for leadership. Never. Same with a man to his wife. How you treat your own family emotionally will directly effect how you treat their family as well as how they perceive how you view their family.

4. How does your ministry effect the church spiritually?
You may be teaching all the right things about the Bible, but if you're not taking care of the first 3 things previously discussed, you ARE dropping the ball in this area. Because as it's already been made clear, the ministry is about you, not Jesus.
The Pharisees had much knowledge and a huge prayer life. They were at 'church', every Sunday.
Knowledge puffs up, prayer can be selfish, and attendance means nothing.
Does your ministry encourage the church to pursue the calling of God, or chastise it for not showing up to help you?
Do you pray for your leadership to lead and guide YOU well? Are you expecting stupid things of your leadership and church? Be honest.

This may be over simplified, offensive, or even incomplete, but I do believe that if you sit back and evaluate through these questions, you'll at least be able to figure out where you're close to in regards to your church and it's health or success.

A practical step may be acknowledging you shouldn't be in leadership at this time. Taking time off may be the best leadership decision you've ever, or will ever, make.